Best New Music: The Plank – Plankton

Do you remember Nu Rave?

I certainly do. Upon hearing about the rumored resurgence of rave music, I immediately got on eBay and bought any old crap that called itself dance music from the late 80’s to early 90’s. I was going to make a mint from the trend by ripping off beard strokers if it killed me. I’ve seen fads come and go and often thought that I should be exploiting the idiots following them.

However. Imagine my horror after finally hearing a Nu Rave song. It bared no resemblance to the records I had just spent my entire life savings on. I immediately contacted all the sellers on eBay to demand the return of my money. So far I’ve not got a single cent back and the eBay help center have stopped returning my calls.
It was a massive false start and try as hard as they could, the NME just couldn’t get it out of the starting gate. In fact, if I look out of the window here at Pitchzpork HQ now, I can still see NME Editor, Krissi Murrison, whipping Phar Lap’s badly decaying carcass right now.

And man does it stink.

But all is not lost folks because we have a new scene. You can say you were there at the beginning of it all. Its Nu Wave of Nu Rave and has arrived in the form of Brooklyn based art rockers, no wait, I mean Brooklyn based Nu Wave of Nu Ravers, The Plank. The Plank‘s awesomeness cannot be described in mere words. Like The Matrix you need to see it with your own ears. But first you need to grow eyes in your ears, that can listen, or see sound, or whatever. These are exciting times and you want in. You also want to impress your friends with your collection of original rave vinyl currently for sale on eBay.  I hear seller the seller eBay Sex Moomin has a great collection.

There is no spoon, Only a Pitchzpork

Reviewed by miniGMgoit